You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
