Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize