I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize