She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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