I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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