what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
