I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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