i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
