I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
