She said her name was "party"
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
