i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
