We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
