the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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