Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
