my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
