You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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