doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Enjoy the penises
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
