Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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