oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
...so i touched it.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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