Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize