Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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