If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
