do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
