Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Randomize
