He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
