just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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