just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
