hotel room ftw
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
