So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
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She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
did i walk over a car last night?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
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I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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