we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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