Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
