if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
