He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
