Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
