whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
