WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
