I puked a lego.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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