i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
