dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
