i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
