whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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