there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.