i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
