is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
