so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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