Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
