apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize