Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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