"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
