I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
