My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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