just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
