Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
