Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
