Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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