Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
