should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
