I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
