She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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