I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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