kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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