Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
