glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
