haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
