i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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